I was reading through my journal the other night and found myself pretty horrified. It was certainly humbling. It's scary how I can blind myself to things. It's teaching me humility, and to be more tolerant of others. It's such a hard balance to find, between being understanding and being firm.
It also made me cry when I read some things I had written in the hospital that pretty much spelled out that I have OCD. I knew so much about what I was going through but not enough to put all the pieces together. I'm also beginning to understand that none of these problems are really going to go away, it cycles. I guess I thought I was headed for a destination, that I would be healed, now I see it comes and goes. It's not the first time I've been humbled by my pride, I realize now it won't be the last.
The cool days are the days I'm obsessing in the back of my head and I'm able to ignore it, or carry on regardless. Faith in God's word has been of immeasurable help in this regard. There's nothing I can do about the past, nothing I can do about the future, all that I have is the time at hand.